I said I was writing this fucker book, and dammit....Do you know that I have not sworn in a very long time? I feel scandalous with that title.
I have procrastinated my way right out of finishing that book in November. And December too--there are some financial matters which need my attention, post haste, and then there is the matter of the baby Jesus and all those shenanigans. So I am now looking to January, which I believe is named for the two faced Roman god of soul crushing.
Everything is just a little darker, a little colder, and a little suckier in January, and it's got about ten thousand holidayless days in it. And that is the time I shall finish my book.
And which book shall I finish?
A)The story about this chick and the Crawford boys, set in the early 1900s. The Crawford boys are neither cowboys nor thieves (well, maybe one is), but they end up on the run in the forest of the monster trees (um, Redwoods, not really monster trees). The chick figures heavily in all of this. There is love/hate/jealousy, etc. Much gnashing of teeth. Crisis ensues. I have not figured out how to get them out of the goddamn monster tree forest, which is why I got stuck. B)The story about the thinly veiled Shah Rukh Khan character, who is a doctor into whose hospital comes a very mysterious woman who isn't what she seems. Or maybe SRK (called...um...not that) isn't what he seems. Anyway, it is more of a fuzzy wuzzy story with some intrigue. Crisis ensues, which at some point allows SRK to tell yon female that he will find her in every life. Because that's love right there. Though, I've not figured how to make this less fuzzy wuzz and more intriguish. Because when the movie is made and offered to SRK (I've mentioned the megalomania problem I have?) I think he's mostly sick of being the hot man in love who tells women things like "In every life I'll find you". Maybe a meaty subject like Pepsi and Coke having water problems in India. Exceptin', SRK is a spokesman for Pepsi. Another meaty subject then. I love Shah Rukh Khan. If anyone's got anything to say about that, do mail. I'm off now, to not write some more. And holy god, how did the country music channel get on my TV! That has got to be addressed this instant.
